You don't know Görlitzer Park?

Meet Max. He is a very quiet pain in the arse from, quote, “west Africa” who followed me around Berlin for 8 hours in a row until I told him to fuck off/lied and said I was going home when I obviously wasn’t. He scarcely spoke, just walking a few steps behind me in a Kevin Costner in The Bodyguard style, with no other aspiration in life whatsoever than being a fucking creep and, believe me, outstandingly succeeding. I never asked him to do so, but he insisted on carrying my shopping bags, and diligently stood next to me in complete silence for around 45 minutes while I deepened my fingers in dusty boxes of vinyls to finally end up purchasing just one. I bought him a 2€ ice-cream in return, partly in hopes that he would choke with a piece of almond from the chocolate and almond covering and had to inopportunely run to the nearest hospital, finally leaving me alone. I’ve certainly met people far more boring than Max in my life before, but they were actually plants. I hope he gets to read this someday, provided that he manages to fix the screen of that Samsung Galaxy Mini of his, so he can come to the realization that he, in fact, should go buy a new Samsung Galaxy Mini anyway and also a personality that goes with it, if they happen to have any of that inefficient sort. I have all the ladies who ever had to experience him blowing his nose in my nightly prayers; he looks pathetic in a death-by-Pokémon-Go way. Take care, Max, and ask your doctor about that potato growing in your mouth. You may not say much, but when you do, nobody fucking understands a single word. 

All pictures taken on 11th July 2016 at Checkpoint Charlie, Berlin, Germany.